A Hooligan Turns 34

So here I am on the eve of the day I was born.  34 years ago.

I look back over my life.  A diamond in the rough...I laugh.  For from diamond, but far from being strung out and a slave to addiction. 

This morning I worked out on our reck yard with my friend Chris.  After lunch, we hit afternoon reck and caught grasshoppers to fee our spiders.  Tonight was the music program we both attend.  A couple of hours where we jam on a guitar and act like rock stars.  The evening is nearly over and here I am with my pen, paper, a blueberry pop tart and coffee.  Chilling.

On days like today I look back over my life. When I came to prison I took time to apologize to a lot of people.  Today I'm all apologized up.  My debts are paid.  I don't owe shit.  Some out there may beg to differ...you should try a good dose of forgiveness.  Somewhere along the line someone had to forgive you for something.  Yeah, I'm sitting here in prison.  And yes, it's my birthday.  But today in my heart I am free.  And it's only taken me 34 years to reach this place.

Today is the 14th of November I woke up to breakfast ready for me.  Wasn't quite breakfast in bed.  I had to reach out and grab it off my locker.  Close enough.  That was compliments of George.  All through the morning buddies have swung through with big smiles and fist-bumps.  Tonight they all planned a big prison goulash.  Chris, George, Randy, Bones, Gator and Forrest all threw in canteen to put together a whole pile of food for tonight.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again.  Here in prison of all places, I've met some of the best people in the world.  Some real ass dudes.  Guys like me who realized they were on the wrong path.  Instead, of fall between the cracks, they chose to learn from past mistakes and grow as people.  These are the very men I choose to put in my life.

Tonight a special group of them will gather with me and toast my 34 years of life.  That's real stuff.

I would like to personally thank each of you who took the time to leave me a shout-out on my birthday.  When I called Brook today, she passed the comments to me and I smiled.  I have some great friends back here and out there.  You people rock!!

J.J. and his dad for a birthday visit!!

GUESS WHAT?!?!?  Today as J.J.'s 34th birthday memories are reminisced, he is celebrating his good friend, Chris' birthday with a huge honeybun prison birthday cake!  Happy Birthday Chris!!!!

       

Inmates Give Thanks Too

As a boy, my mother used to tell me to pick my friends carefully.  Back then mom would have never approved of my friends.  I look around me at my buddies and see the real Motley Crew.  These are my brothers.  While you are surrounded by your family and loves ones, I'll do the same.  Place my friends around me and try to make each other smile.  Deep down, each of us knows there is an empty chair in homes all across the world.  That chair is missing someones daddy.  A special lady sits down missing her man.  A mother is one child short.

Here we are.  And we are thinking of you too.  If you can look around your table and see every chair filled, then count yourself blessed.  I want to tell my friends and loved ones that I'll be home before you know it.  Ain't nothing but a hop and a skip and I'll be right back.

I think I speak for all my brothers back here when I say we can't wait to be filling that chair again at your table.  Happy Thanksgiving from all of us hooligans!

 Lynne & Larry, to a mother and father who I owe everything and so much more.  I'm sorry you must do this Thanksgiving without truly yours.  You will be deep in my heart and on my mind.  I will be home one day to share holidays and love that's hard to find.  

I love you both!  Happy Thanksgiving!
~ Ran~

 A shout-out to all my friends and family: Happy Thanksgiving!

This holiday is a time to be thankful for all the good things in your life and I'm blessed to have each one of you: Mom (of course you're first!), Jenna, and Alex; Aunt Bonnie, Uncle Hussein, Shawn, Brian, and Shirin; Aunt Randy, Uncle Billy, Danny, Mollie, Maggie, and Nina; Brittany, Ashley, and the rest of the Rucker clan; Alley and Angie; Jo; Matt; and everyone else, you know who you are.  Thank you for all that you do for me, supporting me, and just basically being a part of my life.  Both in the highs and especially the lows.  Hopefully this will be the last holiday season I will be separated from you all and next year we will celebrate together.  

My love to you all, Chris

Happy Thanksgiving!  Thank you all for everything you do to help me get through this.  

Love, James

I want to say Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends, family, and to the girl that's been standing by my side for the last seven years through thick and thin.  Bill, Garrett and Kenzie Cooey, Ryan Conley, and the rest of ya'll.  I really appreciate everything ya'll have done.  Thank you for going out of your way to do what you do for me, and wanting to come visit me.  You really do "find out who your friends are" when you are at a place that I'm at.  Mom, dad, granny, papa: thank you for all of your prayers, for putting up with everything I've put you through, and your love.  I've really learned how lucky of a person I am to have a family like you guys.  And to Alisha Lecourise, I really do want to say thank you for standing by my side for all these years, and holdin' on to what we have.  I'm really lucky to have a person like you in my life and to have you by my side.  Thank you for EVERYTHING you've ever done for me, and for your amazing love you share with me.  I know I've taken you for granted a time or two in our past, but you've somehow found something deep inside your heart to forgive me, and that's one reason why I love you so much.  Thank you for putting up with all my crap and giving me a chance to shine.  I've got a bad name, but a man can change. I'm living proof of that.  I hope to be home sooner than later to fill in that empty seat.  You guys mean the world to me.  And a special thanks to J.J. for being the guy he is, and caring for others who are also locked up.  And thanks to Brooke for taking the time to set all of this up for us guys who do have someone out there.  Until then, take care and God Bless.

Love, Forrest Robert 

From the depths of my heart to my two best friends, mom and dad: Happy Thanksgiving!  

Always with love, your SUN

 

For all of you out there that have someone in here that you support with love and/or friends: thank you!!!  You will probably never be able to comprehend just how much of a difference you make in your person's life - at least, I hope you are never in a position to.  Personally, I cannot begin to fathom going through this without the support of my family.  True friends, the unconditional love of family, and the real deal love of a special person will rarely be appreciated, or even recognized without experiencing and going through, the lowest of low times together and coming through them together.  Happy holidays to all of you!  

To the people who give my life its value: I am truly thankful, on a daily basis, for you all.  I am one of those who can

honestly say, "there is nothing equal to the love of my mother and father, save for the love of God."  A special prayer for my grandma Helen, who is 93 and very sick: I pray that you get to read this.  To my son, Cody, you are always in my thoughts.  To my jasmine-eyed snazzle: I M.U.T. and will 1221 always.  And one last big holiday holler to Brooke: thank you so much for making this possible; for giving us a way to make our people feel a little more special, a little closer, and a little more loved; and for being one of those super special, real deal ladies that are so rare. 

Happy Holidays!!  G.

                                                                                              

I am thankful for my family.  I am also thankful for Brooke who makes this whole thing possible.  And I want to personally thank all of these guys who not only got involved with this shout-out, but helped me celebrate my birthday as well.  Never take those you love for granted.  Tell them what they mean to you.  When you do this, it will allow you to grow as a person.  We all need to grow as people, both in the free world as well as in here.  Not to mention, we should do this all year.  Not only one day a year.  Be blessed, The Hooligan. 

Hail Mary

J.J. was moved to draw Mother Mary the other day.  He listened to Hail Mary by Tupac as he drew.

J.J.'s wish for you: may you always make your dreams come true. 

Copyright Tattoo'd Hooligan 2012.

Guns II Roses

New, beautiful art from J.J.  This art has a beautiful meaning too.  Guns II Roses portrays J.J.'s life.....making the choice to move on to a beautiful life from a rough life. 

"It's not that some people have willpower and some don't.  It's that some people are ready to change and other are NOT." ~Anonymous~

Copyright 2012. Tattoo'd Hooligan.

Hard Life. Hard Decisions.

Have you ever had a day you wish would never end?  A perfect day.  You're on the beach, sun is shining, birds are flying overhead, and you wish time could stand still....

I've been there. 

Perhaps watching your children grow up.  Wishing you could keep them at a tender age.  Before they grow into teens that want money and try to sneak out at night.  It's been a long time since I thought that way. 

Seems that most of my time is spent trying to kill time rather than freezing it.  What can I do to make a day pass quicker.  Lately I make jolly pop suckers, granola bars, work out, and draw.  Anything to keep my hand busy.  Anything to bring the next day.  I don't get excited about the holidays.  What I'm excited about is the New Year.  Welcoming the year 2013.  Another year down.

I filed papers in the courts nearly two years ago to seek some relief.  The law states they have a reasonable amount of time to respond to me.  If you place them behind this fence, then I'm sure they would figure a reasonable amount of time has passed.  I do believe we are at an unreasonable amount of time.  So I have options....

I can file more papers stating it has been long enough, which brings my next dilemma....do I want to enter a New Year being shot down and locked into this prison sentence?  Or do I continue each day with a spark of hope that I may find some relief in the courts?  Screw it...that's why I make jolly pops.  My life back here consists of landmines I dance around each day.  Not only is my own future in the balance, but anyone who loves me and wishes I could come home to them.  Do I wish to have them enter their holidays with the news I was rejected?  That I will indeed do six more years back here?  Definitely not.

So, do I file papers requesting an immediate answer and if it's bad news, then wear that myself?  Or can I just go make some suckers and hide under a rock?  Right now I'm thinking out loud.  Since I don't know what I'm going to do.  Maybe if I do nothing, it will just go away.  Probably not....

What if the judge is in Christmas cheer and says I should get second chance?  I doubt it. 

The inn was full so Mary and Joseph had Jesus in the barn.  And in the end Pilot may have washed His hands, but they still hung Him to die on a cross. Even the people we love let us down.  Sometimes the worst since we expect so much from them.  Lord knows that's how I've lived half my life. 

Let us not live in the rear view.  These days I want to shift to overdrive.  Put this bitch in passing gear and ride out.  If life's a highway and I can ride it all night long, my only question is what's the speed limit around here?

Prison Food

I heard a man once say his old lady’s cookin’ sucked so bad the flies pitched in and bought them a screen door.  This makes me think about the food they expect us to eat around here.

You know that toast and jelly, cereal and milk, and salt and pepper go together.  A steak and potato, a soup and salad, garlic and butter….I’ve been hearing these dishes go together all my life.  But prison?  Not so much. 

I’m not real sure who made up these menus but they fit together like water on your cereal.  Who thought of giving full-grown men two pieces of bologna and no bread?   Just roll up the meat and eat it.  Sometimes I wonder if this is some twisted joke!

Here you can see one slice of bread on the tray.  Today the bread is no longer added.

One of our dinner trays is referred to as “tacos” on the DOC menu.   Instead of taco shells, they give you two pieces of bread.  Taco Bell?  I say Taco Hell!  Can you imagine the mess?  Two pieces of bread….

Where I come from we call that “shit on a shingle.”  They took the “taco” off the tray.  They only thing Mexican about the meal is the Chihuahua dog they got the meat from.  Tacos my ass!

Whoever department of corrections has doing their meal plans is smoking crack.  They serve us the same patty and it changes names each time.  Some soybean-cardboard patty is southern fried on Monday.  The patty is a “zesty” patty on Wednesday and somehow turns into a Salisbury steak on Friday.  This is a bigger lie than most men saying their Salisbury steak is ten inches!  It is false advertisement folks.  Plain and simple.

I told my lady the other day I’ll eat anything….well…within reason.  You either eat their food or go hungry…especially when you’re in confinement.  When I first came to prison you got a carton of milk with breakfast.  That was your dairy serving.  You also got a fruit; either an orange or a banana.  The food director decided to do away with both dairy and fresh fruit.  They found it’s too hard to stretch an orange.  When you step on it, there’s a big mess.  Same with the bananas.  They found it’s easier to water down and stretch a fruit juice.  Now we get our fruit serving in a cup that’s been cut down so bad by water there is no nutritional value left.  This is worse than telling someone O’Doul’s will get them drunk.  It’s all a lie. 

How’s that song go...women lie, men lie?  That’s right…and so does the food director.  It’s a shame.  Back here we love to hear there’s an “inspection” coming up.  That’s the only time of year the food trays have proper serving sizes on them and the juice actually tastes like juice. 

Really, I’m not bitching.  It is what it is.  But it’s all false advertisement.  Even the flies won’t eat this shit.  They don’t need a screen door to keep them away.  Prison food make 7-11 chilidogs look like a gourmet meal.  Yep, even that 4-day old weenie that someone forgot about.   That one that’s been turning on that rack and has shrunk into a piece of beef jerky.  Put some chili and cheese on that shit and grab a Coke Icee.  That’s five star dining!